Anxiety, Children and COVID-19
My name is Tamara Childress and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. I have a private practice in Virginia Beach and the majority of my clients are children and families. When I began to think about this virus and the current situation we are in my mind took me back to when I was raising my own children. To put this in context, my “children” currently range in age from 25 years old to 36 years old. There are five of them and they represent a blended family. I was previously married and had two children and my husband was previously married and had two children…..and then we had a child together.
I always worked prior to raising my children but when we realized daycare was not financially feasible then I decided to stay home with them. We were married in April and it was not long before June rolled around and school was out. I began to realize that these children were going to be home all day and I was responsible for taking care of them. All day. Every day. It definitely seemed like a daunting task. But I quickly realized that children are resilient and adaptable. I began to understand that they needed a schedule, not only for them, but for myself. So first I made a schedule for meals….breakfast at 8:30 am, lunch at 12:30 pm and dinner at 5:30 pm. As time went on, I began to implement reading time, time outside , time for crafts and time for television. This sounds very simple but I promise you , it was anything but.
As you raise your children you will find that everyone has an opinion and is more than happy to give it to you. Solicited or not. So I heard from my mother, my mother in law, my friends and most of all, my children. “ Why do we have to have a schedule?…..” “ Why can’t they just be children and have some free time?” “ Why do you have to be so strict with them?”…….the litany went on and on. I even caught some flak from the pediatrician !! My youngest son went to his check up and told the pediatrician that he was tired of going outside and “staying outside forever” and that he had to knock to get back in the door!! The pediatrician asked me if I was making my children stay outside in 90 degree weather??!!?? I explained that the children were on a schedule and they were required to go outside for a certain period of time but it in no way endangered their health. The pediatrician stated that he understood but he looked dubious at best.
So in this day and age of COVID-19 and parents who are protecting their children while keeping them at home, what is the best way to keep your children happy and occupied day after day? How do we help them feel less anxious and more secure in a world that changes every day? My answer is a schedule. Children need predictability in their lives. When children are able to know what is going to happen every day they feel more secure and less anxious. Now that we know school will not be back in session for several months , we need to let our children know that they still have a schedule and a predictable day ahead of them. Children need to have a time to get up and a time to go to bed. They need scheduled meal times and other activity times scheduled so that they know what is going to happen next. Children feel anxious and afraid when they are not able to predict the immediate future. Children want to know that they have leadership and guidance that they can rely on.
If you choose to implement the idea of a schedule into your daily routine then I would suggest having a family meeting. Family meetings are wonderful ways to give information to your children and let them have a part in sharing new ideas. Children can be given the opportunity to choose what activities will be included in the new “daily schedule”. Children can also have the opportunity to choose menus for the week or what types of crafts or activities will be part of each new day. Letting your children choose the activities or the food for the day only serves to show them that their opinions and their choices are valued. Families become bonded and are loyal to each other when all of the members feel valued and the members are able to see that they are an important part of the process. As a society, we learn that if we can rely on each other then we can trust each other. Families work in the same way. Children want love, guidance and reliability from their parents. I encourage you to try incorporating a daily schedule into your routine and let me know how it works for you. Please email me with any feedback to CCtherapyassociates@gmail.com
Thanks for reading!!
Tamara Childress LPC